On Compassion

At the risk of being the crazy old etymologist, I want you to think about the word ‘compassion’.  It’s a good old Latin word.  The first bit means ‘with’ the second bit means ‘suffering’.  Having compassion means the ability to understand and feel another’s pain and suffering.

“With Suffering”.  At this point most writers will go off on a screed about how you have to suffer for what you want.  How passion is the ability to suffer for a goal.

I’m not going to do that, although it’s a great screed.  Very biblical.  Has the smell of ancient empires and codes of honor to it.  Unsurprising it’s Roman in origin.

I’m going to talk about having compassion for someone else.  Understanding and appreciating someone else’s suffering.   If you think about anyone you know, live with or work with – to some extent they are all suffering.  Whether they show it or not.

And the ones that are suffering the most are the one’s that are the hardest to have empathy for.  Because they are typically externalizing that suffering in ways that are negative.

It doesn’t mean you have to agree with them. It doesn’t mean you have to like them.  It doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be held accountable.  It means you understand their suffering.

This is important because people who are suffering tend to externalize that suffering.  They lash out.  They act out.

It is in our nature to suffer.  It is in our nature to be passionate.  It makes us human.

Passion by it’s nature is irreconcilable with the norm.  Passionate people are outliers in one way or another.

If you can bring yourself to look for the suffering behind another’s actions it will help you understand them.  It will help your own suffering because it will allow you to understand.

Understanding converts emotion to reason.

And with that reason you are in a better position to deal with those who are suffering.

But compassion also means celebrating those who are achieving happiness.

It is part of empathy and growth.

When was the last time you told someone you were happy for them? Try saying this in a moment of contemplation while visualizing someone you know who has achieved something that has made them happy.

Because that empathy for others’ happiness begets joy in yourself.

Now try saying this: “May I have appreciation for my own joy. May my happiness grow.”

And notice how that makes you feel and how the two are intertwined -compassion for others and joy in yourself.