We are all going to die – But that doesn’t mean you can’t live

We are all going to die – But that doesn’t mean you can’t live.

When I was interviewing the young man Iram Leon who is dealing with brain cancer that will almost surely take his life I was impressed by his love of life.  I was impressed how he is focusing on what he can do now with the time he has.  I was impressed with how he is focused on his daughter and the important things in his life.

It’s a story we see repeated often, where someone is faced with impending death or has a close call.  They learn to live.  They learn to cut through all the extraneous stuff in life, all the noise, and get right to the meat of living.

You and I are no different.  We are going to die.  We naturally avoid thinking about it and most of us are in no hurry to get there, but we all end up the same place.  Maybe considering our deaths can help us to live our lives?

Different people react to the briefness of our existence in the world in different ways.  Some seek a higher level meaning to fill in the unknowns with faith.  Others simply ignore the Reaper until he catches them sleeping.

You know you are going to die.  What should you do?

First you need to start living.

I would suggest to you that the rational approach to a finite life would be to try to get the most out of it.  I would suggest to you that you need to start living without fear.  You need to start living as if you only have a short time left.

I don’t suggest you quit your job and take on a life style of vapid dissolution with Hollywood starlets.  An ego-driven, self-consumptive life does not reward you or your world.  It will probably shorten your corporeal lease as well.

But, I do suggest you begin to enjoy your life.  I do suggest that you do the things that put you in a position, enable you, to enjoy your life.

Likewise I don’t think you can measure the value of a life by the things that you acquire.  There is nothing inherently evil about things, but the act of acquiring them is not the best use of your life’s energies.  Consuming and hoarding artifacts is a form of taking.  I would challenge the assumption that you can find fulfillment through taking.

If you are going to spend your energy acquiring things, acquire meaningful relationships and meaningful experiences.

You may radically change your life, like the person facing imminent death, but you don’t have to.

Many times people will take the advice to “start living more” and translate it to “doing more things”.  Doing more things may just add stress to your life causing degradation instead of fulfillment.

When I say ‘start living more’ I mean two things specifically.  First, get more fulfillment out of the things you are already doing and, secondly, do more fulfilling things.

What do I mean by ‘get more fulfillment out of the things you are already doing’?  I mean that washing the dishes can be fulfilling.  I mean that going to see a movie with your kids can be fulfilling.  I mean that having a conversation with your mom can be fulfilling.

We tend to rush through these routine vignettes of life and we are not present.  Our minds are slipping off somewhere else to worry about the mortgage or our boss or the 5 pounds we have to lose.  Practice finding meaning in the simple things of life that you are already privy to.  Lovingly do the dishes.  Joyfully go to the movies.  Thoughtfully talk to your mom.  Be in the moment because those moments are the only ones you get.

By approaching the sundry commonplace things in life with joy and mindfulness you can bring fulfillment and happiness into your life without changing anything.  Your life, the majority of it, exists between your ears and in your relationships with others.  Make that life meaningful and you will start living more.

And secondly, what do I mean by ‘Do more fulfilling things’?  I mean that you have a list of things that you are going to do today, this week, this month, this year and in this life.  You get the same number of hours as everyone else so you should choose to do those things that are important.

You can only do that by displacing something less important on that list of things.  This is your choice.  When you decide to do more fulfilling things you look forward in your horizon of things and make choices to include worthwhile and important things.

For example this year you may decide that you are going to train for and run a marathon.  In scheduling that important and fulfilling experience you are automatically displacing 8-15 hours a week of something else.  It may be watching TV or eating lunch, but by choosing to do more fulfilling things you are putting more ‘life’ into your life.

Defining what is important is up to you.  Iram chooses to spend more time with his daughter.  For me it is things that stretch me and scare me a little.  These things build on each other over your life to form a codex of fulfillment.

Your assignment today is to live as if you don’t have much time left.  I want you to focus on doing those mundane things in your life with purpose and joy.  I want you to look out across your life horizon and choose to do something important, and schedule it.

I want you to start living.

Ozymandias

by Percy Bysshe Shelley

I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desart. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed:
And on the pedestal these words appear:
“My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!”
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away