10 Stoopid Resume and Interview Tricks

10 Stoopid Resume’ and interview tricks.

I’ve been trying to hire some folks over the last couple weeks.  In the process I’ve posted the job and the job requirements on a couple industry websites.  I’ve received a large number of resumes and have done a couple dozen screening calls.

I’d like to share my experience with you so that maybe you can learn from it.

1. Using a lot of large adjectives in your cover letter doesn’t make you look smarter.  It makes you look like you failed 5^th grade English class.  Are you really ‘exceptionally proficient’ and ‘outstanding’?
2. Count the words in the sentences of your cover letter and resume.  If your sentence length averages 20 or more words it is more than likely cringe-worthy.  Shoot for 10 or less.  Remember subject-noun-object? Think about what you are trying to say.
3. You worked for the military.  I get it.  But I have no idea what the big pile of 3 and 4 letter acronyms that you are throwing up on me mean.  You say you want to move away from government work?  How about chasing it out of your paperwork first?
4. I put my name and contact info on the job listing.  Starting with Dear Sir/Madam or Dear Human Resources is just lazy.
5. You have so many wonderful things to say about yourself that you have run out of room on the page!  A really awful decision is to eliminate the margins, the line spacing and all the free space on the page.  Guess what?  I can’t read it and I can’t print it.  I have a crazy idea! How about editing the content instead?
6. I spoke to around 15 people this week.  I got 2 thank you notes.  Really?  That makes me feel unloved.
7. When we do get on the phone it would be ok with me if you would stop talking long enough to let me ask a question.
8. Some questions are perfectly ok to answer with “yes” or “no”.  I don’t need the Gettysburg Address.  Stop trying to second guess me.  If that makes you nervous you can always ask me “is that enough of an answer, or would you like more detail?”
9. Now is not a good time to complain or get depressed.  I really like happy people more than grumpy people.  I like to be around happy, positive people and sometimes hire them.
10. I’ll let you in on a secret.  Sometimes I don’t care what the answer to the question is.  I just want to see how you answer it.

Hope that helps, because I really do need to hire someone and I’m investing in the process. Meet me half way, would ya?