Using your Fear

How to flip the script on your own natural fear of loss

Fear is a primal and powerful motivator.

We are wired for fear by evolution.

Fear is not rational.

We think we are rational beings, but we are not.

We think the prospect of success or gain or love motivates us to live our best lives.

And all those things are great motivators.  But they are not the strongest motivator.

The most powerful motivator is fear.

A powerful form of fear is the fear of loss.  We are hard wired to be heavily motivated, to take action, to avoid losing something we think we own.

Yes, there is science and studies behind this statement.  It is called the Endowment Effect.  We value something we have more than something we don’t have.

Of course the marketers, sales people and politicians know this.

It is used to manipulate you.

Notice the screaming politicos are always on about someone wanting to take something away from you.  Your freedom, your lifestyle, your money

It’s all a calculated effort to motivate you to do something (protest, donate, vote) because they know you are far more likely to fight for something you own already than some rosy future thing that you still have to work for.

This explains many of the sales and marketing tactics you are bombarded with as well.  Why do you think free trials and test drives are so effective?  They know that if you feel like you own something, even a little bit, you will value it more and be more likely to pay to keep it.

Before the free trial it was someone else’s.  Now it’s partly yours. Part of your experience.  Part of your whole.  And we are betting you don’t want to give that up.

People are more motivated to avoid losses than to seek gains.

Losing hurts more than winning feels good.

We see this manifest in people who hold on to shitty jobs or bad relationships because they don’t want to lose them.

There is a strong loss aversion in all of us.

This goes a long way to explains some of our irrational behavior and avoidance.  We will shy away from something that has the potential to give us outsized personal gain or achievement because there is a risk of loss.  The fear of loss overshadows our decision making.

That is why detachment is so important.  If you look at successful people, they have methodologies to override their fear of loss, their emotional Amygdala and weigh risk and reward with detachment.  Detachment is a powerful tool that allows you to operate effectively in high-risk environments.

But, why am I telling you this?  To depress the shit out of you?  To tell you that the cards are stacked against you?

Of course not.

I’m telling you about this so you can use this powerful fear of loss to your advantage.

How can you use this powerful motivational force to get what you want in life?

Well, it boils down to using fear of loss, in the form of a penalty, to penalize negative or unwanted behavior.

There have been many studies but the one most often cited is a study that was trying to motivate people to quit smoking.  Any of you ex-smokers out there realize how addictive smoking is.  It’s really hard to quit.  Your logical mind can tell you it’s killing you, but your addicted pleasure center drowns that out pretty easily.

In the studies they had smokers commit to paying fines if they smoked.  This made the calculation easier for the monkey brain to understand.  You smoke you lose money.  And it worked better than other methods. It wasn’t perfect, not even close, it had a 52% success rate.  But, with hard core, addicted smokers, that’s pretty good.

In the book I’m working my way through called Indistractable, the author forces himself to workout by hanging a $100 bill on his calendar with a lighter.  If he doesn’t’ do the work he has to burn the $100 bill.  This is such a motivator that he hasn’t missed a workout in several years.

Indeed, we see there are a bunch of apps that allow you to do this exact same thing.  You ‘bet’ people you will workout and if you don’t you lose.  I like the $100 and lighter scheme because it is so visual and immediate.

This is known as a ‘price pact’.  You make a pact with someone where if you do not do the thing you pay the price.  This has many forms.  You see people commit to writing a check to some awful organization if they don’t’ do what they say.  It has to be something that is going to motivate you.

This is not universal.  All people are wired differently.  It may not work for you.

You need to be able to draw that line between motivating yourself and bullying yourself.

Remember, 48% of those smokers gave up the cash to keep smoking.  Know yourself.  Be kind to yourself.  Cultivate the ability to fail and bounce back.

Hacking the fear of loss is not a cure-all for all your problems.  It’s another tool in your bag for you to use where appropriate.

In general, as athletes, we already have enough self-motivation to tackle important goals.  This may help in that process.  Give you a little juice when needed.  Help you fine-tune your self-development.

In summary:  Keep in mind the powerful nature of the fear of loss.  Use methods to mitigate that so you can operate with detachment when needed.  Be aware that you can also flip it over and use it as a stick to positively influence sticky behavioral situations.