Positive Aspect

Why do you care about creating a positive environment?

I’m sure you have been in a situation where someone just acts like a jerk for no reason and catches you by surprise.

Say you’re standing in line at the store (or queueing as the other English speakers would say), and someone cuts the queue.  And maybe you smile and say, something innocuous like “the line starts back there…” And that person snaps and swears and you feel the fight or flight hormones pumping through your system and all of a sudden, a trip for some sardines and crackers and beer for your Netflix binge turns into a feral cage match.

And then the rest of your day just gets worse and worse…

What happened?

Or maybe you, yourself have been awake for hours working a problem at your day job.  You have more work due tomorrow that you haven’t done.  Someone calls you to ask for something and you snap on them! “Leave me alone, can’t you see I’m busy!”

And then the rest of your day just gets worse and worse…

Or you’re on a call and you’re getting grilled.  The pressure of the situation and the fact that you don’t feel safe, you feel attacked, you struggle to find words, you struggle to respond well and you can’t find any good ideas.

And then the rest of your day just gets worse and worse…

What’s going on here?

Or maybe…You wake up warm and well rested.  You have nothing pressing and no fires raging.  You sit down to write or work on something you’ve been putting off and it feels effortless.

And then the rest of your day just gets better and better…

Why the difference?

Or you stop for coffee and the person in front of you drops their wallet. You chase them down and hand it to them.  They thank you effusively.

And then the rest of your day just gets better and better…

I like those days.

So… What is going on here?

Well, it turns out how you act or react in any situation depends on how you have been primed.

Let me say that a different way.  The way you act, your ability to be creative, your ability to think depends heavily on the mental state you are in.

If you are over stressed, unhappy, tired, or feel at risk your abilities to act well and perform are diminished and, in some ways, predetermined.  Your physiology will drive your psychology.

That person who cut you in line was already primed to have that negative interaction.  When you were tired and snapped you were primed for a negative interaction.

When you were in a state of fear and didn’t feel safe you were primed to be unable to be creative and leverage your best self.

But the opposite was true as well.  Positive priming sets us up for more positive interactions.

That’s why we focus on changing your mindset to a positive and abundant state.  To some extent you can create that environment or that state proactively and purposefully.

This is where creating a positive environment comes in.  Specifically: the environment you create for yourself and then the environment you create or at least influence for those around you.

All those positive reinforcement techniques like meditation, affirmation, gratitude etc. work because they put you in a physiological sate that allows your best self to shine through.

That’s why morning routines are so important, because that morning routine primes you for the day.

Another example:  I’ve been working on my new podcast in my spare time.  It requires me to write creatively.  What I find is that I just can’t switch gears from a stressful real-world situation to a creative context.  If I go from a ‘bad day at the office’ to trying to write it’s very hard to get into the flow.

Can you change your state?  Yes, but it’s not always easy, it takes practice and it’s not instantaneous.

Have you ever seen a person ‘count to ten’ or walk out of a bad meeting to take a walk?  They are trying to change their state before they do something out of their control.

That’s why you need to have mental and physical triggers that can change your state.  For instance, if you get out at lunch for a nice trail run in the sun, that is going to reset your mental and physical state.  Maybe that’s why we get such great ideas when we’re out on the trail or doing anything that takes us away from the stress of the day-to-day.  That’s why you get those ideas in the shower.

Note: I tried to write those shower ideas down, but the paper kept getting soggy…

From that point it is either a virtuous upward spiral or a negative downward spiral. When you nter the situation your attitude, and state influence whether your interaction will be positive or negative.

If you have a positive starting point it raises the probability of a positive outcome which then reinforces the state onwards and upwards.  And you day gets better and better…

If you come in at a negative state, chances are you’re going to have a negative interaction and the spiral is downward.  And your day gets worse and worse…

Why do you think they give you a mint, or a chocolate or a fortune coolie with your bill?  Because that unexpected treat causes a 21% increase in the tip.

How do you put this into practice?

First you can do you best to create a state of abundance in your own head.  Use whatever tools from the tool kit you like.  Try to enter each day mindfully in that abundant state.  Pause before any interaction and make sure your intent is abundant.

Develop triggers and practices to help you change your state when it becomes polluted.

Second, you very much can influence your environment.

You can influence others by showing up in your state of abundant positivity.

Make it a practice to give unexpected gifts.  These don’t have to be mints.  They can be praise and thanks and gratitude.  Give more compliments.  Especially to those you love.

If you are a leader, make sure that you are creating an environment where people feel safe.  If people don’t feel safe, they will not take chances or try anything new.

Hope this helps.  Try it on yourself and your family over the holidays.