New-agey woo-woo solutions for your angst…

Feeding the good dog.

I listen to, read and absorb a lot of what might be referred to as ‘self help’ material.  I find it interesting and helpful.  One of my personal strengths (and, of course I know this from reading a book on strengths and taking their assessment) is ‘input’.  I love to absorb input.  I’ll listen to maybe 10-12 hours of content a week.  I’ll read maybe a book a week and I’ll always have 4-5 books going.

The common thread to all this content, this input, is that I learn things from it.  It’s not romance novels or comic books or sports shows.  It’s not entertainment per se because I’m learning something.  In that sense it gives me pleasure because one of my other top five strengths is learning.  I love to learn new things.  I consume input.  I learn.

With this volume of input over the years I have probably learned enough about history to earn a degree.  I’ve learned enough about business and leadership to fill multiple MBA curricula. I’ve also absorbed many works from the ‘self-help’ genre.

Having a surveyed a broad swath of this literature I can see patterns and similarities, (using my strategic thinking strength), apply those common themes to other areas of my life.  I also use my communication strength to consolidate these patterns into cogent thoughts and write about them.

But why do you care?  Because there are common elements to all these programs.

For instance, being future focused and positive, or abundant in your outlook is a common theme.  Being passionate and living without fear is a common theme.  Taking action, especially in the face of uncertainty and risk is another common theme.  Understanding and using your strengths is a theme.  You’ve heard me talk about all these.

But what do you do to realize these themes? A common directive is to figure out what your life’s purpose is so that you can have something bigger than yourself to live in accordance with.  Sometimes this is religious, other times spiritual and usually ends up helping others as a higher purpose.

Tactically, the most common directive to actualize these themes is to set goals.  These goals align with your purpose and they stretch you out of your comfort zone to become a better version of yourself.

Another common prescription, especially in the recent writings is meditation practice.  More common is the practice of affirmation and visualization.

I have touched on meditation recently in one of my articles and I do believe it to be a powerful tool to meld the mind.  But I have only paid lip service to affirmation and visualization.  That’s what I’m going to talk to you about today.  Apologies for the long preamble.

In a sense when I write and you read or listen to a emotionally powerful tract on one of these topics we are both practicing an abstract affirmation and visualization.  When I write about my workouts, or my races; when I extol the virtues of something, I’m writing for you as my audience but I’m also writing for myself.  I’m extolling myself to lead a virtuous life, like Marcus Aurelias in his meditations.  The guise is to frame it as a message to you, but in reality I’m calling myself out, fortifying myself and keeping it real.

In most of the self help type messaging they will tell you to write down affirmations and read them daily.  They will also tell you to visualize what you want your life to be.  They will tell you to paint that picture of your ideal life or an ideal situation so vividly in your mind that it becomes your new reality.

In this way affirmations, (telling yourself it is your true reality), and visualizations, (seeing it as your true reality) are supposed to create change in your life by changing your mindset.  It’s an interesting exercise.

I always considered this a bit of a false veneer.  I thought it a bit comical, unseemly and disingenuous to be hanging snippets of inspiration around the house and reading them into the mirror with great passion every day.  It runs counter to my cultural upbringing to be publicly espousing my affirmations every day like the spreading of so much pop-cultural manure.

But, I do write them down and on occasion will read through them.  I don’t think that they have the power to radically change my life but they do a good job of setting your frame of mind in the right way.  As part of your morning routine or if you are in need of some re-centering you can do some meditation and read through your affirmations.

With that exhaustive preamble now I will share with you an edited version of some of my self-talk journaling.  I constantly add and change these depending on what specific parts of my life I’m focusing on.  Sit back and listen now, as I talk to you, and to myself to create a positive frame of mind.

Feeding the good dog.

What am I grateful for?

I am grateful for today:

I have always had a great job and am gainfully employed.  I get to learn things and help people.  I am grateful for being able to practice this craft.

I am grateful for having the gift of a curious and active mind and a desire to improve myself.  I am grateful for being a self motivated person.

I am grateful to live in a world of infinite opportunity.

I am grateful for the opportunity to help and add value to my community.

I am grateful for the love and health of my family. I am grateful for their companionship.

I am grateful to be living in a place and time that allows me to pursue my life free of danger.

I am grateful for the physical gifts that I have been given and my ability and choice to use them in a fulfilling way.

I am grateful to be loved, happy, healthy and secure.

I am grateful for the gifts I have been given.

I believe in the abundance of life.

I like to travel.  It provides me with adventure, opportunity and fulfillment.

I am not afraid of my hard workouts.  I embrace them as an opportunity to find my strength. I am peaceful and balanced in my running and endurance sports.  I do it because I love it.

My body is strong.  My body is athletic. My body is flexible.

My body will do amazing things if I let it.  I have the knowledge, discipline and desire to achieve.

I am a healthy and balanced person.

I love my body.

I live a healthy lifestyle.

I understand and control my nutrition.  I make good decisions about what I eat.

Family Growth:

I help my wife.  I love my wife.  I listen to my wife.

I help my kids become happier people and give them the choice to lead fulfilling lives.  I listen to my children and learn from them.

I like people.  My first reaction is to accept the people I meet, give them space, listen to them and listen to their story.  I appreciate the gift of their stories.

I am a compelling speaker.

I light up a room when I enter it.

I am a great conversationalist with strangers.

I am an excellent writer.

I am open to new ideas and open to new opportunities.

I’m a good person.

I like myself.

I am not afraid:

I’m not afraid of failing. I take leaps of faith on those things that are important and make sense to me.

Failing for me is just another form of forward movement.

I take the time to finish what I start.

I get work done.

I do quality work.

I do the best job I can in the time available.  I hurry, but I don’t rush and the world values my ability to make choices and the choices I make.

I make decisions with confidence.

I begin projects with great intent and I finish them with greater intent.

I am worthy of my successes.  I am humble. I earn the respect and praise I get.

I embrace the world as it is.  I live in the present.  I celebrate the now.

I do the most I can and the best I can with the gifts I’ve been given.

This is a fulfilling life for me.

I embrace my community; I ask good questions and listen well.  I make people feel respected and important.

I do the right thing, not the easy thing.

Beliefs to reinforce?

I believe that I am deserving of happiness and fulfillment.

I believe that I am deserving of financial success.

I believe that I have limitless energy and ability.

I believe I can change and every day I will improve my life for the better.

I believe that the future is bright.

I believe that I can do anything I set my mind to.

I set compelling goals and execute every day.

I believe I can finish what I have started and push through boundaries and roadblocks.

I take action towards my goals every day.

I believe the universe will provide answers when I need them if I keep moving forward in my efforts.

I believe that I am a kind, thoughtful and generous human that is willing and able to help others in impactful ways that will lead to my own success.

Why now?

I need to start now.  There is no time like now.  There is no day except today.  The things I MUST change are things that I have wanted to change my whole life.

The things that I must do are important to me, my family and the world.

I commit to continuously re-wire my life and lifestyle for continuous improvement.

Making the effort to change now will have an outsized impact on my life 5 and 10 years down the road.

Today is a nexus in my life and I need to change for the better today.

Visualization:

I visualize myself at Work:

I am engaged with a client.  I am confident and thoughtful and have an executive presence.  I listen well to the client and affirm what they say.  I challenge the client with insights and strategies that may surprise them.

I talk easily and helpfully about topics that may cause dynamic tension.  I say and do the right things, which are sometimes the hard things.

I communicate with passion and enthusiasm.  My personal drive and awareness creates a contagious optimism.

When confronted by challenges, emergencies and surprise attacks, I smile, breathe and relax into the tension.  My body language says that I am thrilled to be challenged in this way and I think before I answer.

…

I visualize myself training:

When I am training I focus on relaxing into the dynamic stress on my body and mind.  I accept all workouts, easy and difficult as opportunities to celebrate my strength, what my body can do and reaching through boundaries to find the joy in exhaustion.

In each workout I do the best I can. If I’m tired or have set backs I don’t give up.  I gather myself, regroup and come at the difficulty again with more mindfulness until I succeed.

I realize that any training campaign is defined by 1,000 critical moments and that perseverance and patient execution is the key to long term success.

When I race I compete with strategy and mindfulness.  I relax into the effort and I let the race come to me.  When the moment of truth comes I dig deep into the well of strength and abundance that I have built through my training.

When it is time to fight I fight with a ferocity and focus that burns deep into my soul.  I don’t back down from the race.

I know that pain and effort and success all come in waves during a long race.  I don’t panic when the waves come.  I hold the line and give ground with the stubbornness and discipline of a soldier.

I am grateful to have the opportunity to race.

…

Like I said, these are affirmations and visualizations that I keep in a file on my computer and read through, purposely a couple times a week to set my mind right.  It is an ever changing a growing list depending on what I’m working on or what inspires me.

Your homework is to create your own affirmations and visualizations.  You don’t have to scream them into the mirror.  The simple act of journaling them and then revisiting them a couple times a week will help you find your center.  I have also found that my brain is particularly pliable to these suggestions early in the morning and after meditation.

I’ll also make a point of stripping off just the affirmation part of this as a recording for you and post it on my site.

Cheers,