Surfing the energy wave

Why do we focus so much on our mindfulness practice?

Because it puts us in a state where we can make better, more proactive choices about our thoughts and emotions.

Mindfulness, if done consistently as a practice empowers us to use our free will and make empowered choices.

As we go through our days, we are constantly being pulled into negative thought pathways.

If we don’t have a mindfulness practice, we don’t have the tools to resist being pulled down those negative and fear-filed thought pathways.

I’ll give you an example.  Last week I was driving home from the gym.  It was on a country road that leads to my neighborhood.   I was in a great mood.  I was feeling good about myself the way you do when you finish a good workout.

Then, I look in the rearview mirror and my mind jumps because someone is tailgating me.

I’m doing the speed limit, even a little more, but this little white car is right on my bumper.

And this is where my mindfulness practice becomes useful.

Because my mind starts to go crazy.  I think we’ve all been there. Like some bad action movie.

I started to get angry. Why is this jerk tailgating me?  Did I do something back there at the traffic light to make them angry?  Do they have an agenda?

I felt threatened.

I felt fear and apprehension as my mind started going through scenarios.

What if they get out the car at the next traffic light and come up to my window to confront me?

What will I do?

Hey, I’m just out of the gym, I’m smart and athletic, they chose the wrong guy to mess with.

And my monkey mind starts going through how I’m going to handle the fight that apparently I’m about to have.

I tap the brakes and slow down to the speed limit.

Why?  I don’t know why.  Now I’m just being confrontational.  My heart rate is up.  My adrenaline is pumping.

I pull up to the traffic light and they are still tailgating me, but don’t seem to have any aggressive intent.  My mind starts making up stories about immigrants who drive like they drive in those other countries I’ve been in.

I signal to pull into my neighborhood, and they are still tailgating me the whole way.

Wil they follow me home and confront me in my driveway?

Will I have to call 911?

They don’t’ turn.  They don’t follow me home.  They just drive off, once I’m out of the way.

I take a good look at the car.  Just a cheap small sedan.

What the hell just happened?

The good news is I wasn’t sucked into this tale.  I was able to watch it but avoid the negative impact of it.

Because I’ve been practicing mindfulness I was able to watch this whole melodrama play out in my mind and detach from it.  I saw the trigger and even though I couldn’t stop my mind from chasing its tail I could observe it.

Believe it or not that took a lot of the emotional sting out of it.  Something like this might have been worse if I chased my mind down those rabbit holes.

Maybe I would have slammed on the brakes and driven 10 miles under the speed limit just to make my point? Maybe I would have let them pass and chased them to get their license number to report to the local police?

I certainly could have worked myself up to a point where it would ruin the rest of my day and leave me shaking with adrenaline and unable to sleep.

But, because I was able to observe, to have the self-awareness to what my monkey mind was doing, I was able to de-escalate myself.

The truth is I have no idea who was driving that little white car or what their intent or situation was.  It could have been someone like one of my own kids having a bad day or rushing to see their mom in the hospital.

I don’t know.  You’re monkey mind is crazy.  You can’t follow it down these rat holes.

Your mindfulness practice allows you to cultivate a state of awareness where you can recognize what your monkey mind is doing, and instead of getting drawn into that energy, you can surf it.

This is incredibly empowering.  Instead of wasting a to of energy and putting yourself in a negative state you can save your energy for something useful.   You end up in an empowered state because you realized what was going on and didn’t chase, didn’t fall into the trap.

You reinforce the power of your true self, the one who observes and decides.

This is how you get out of your mental traps.  The trick is to recognize the thought pattern right away, before it has a chance to drag you down, take control and change your state.

The way you do this is to monitor your state change very closely.  As soon as you recognize the trigger, i.e., the car in the rearview, as soon as you feel yourself getting angry or anxious or sad recognize it for what it is.

Observe it and let it go.   Just let it go.