Book review – The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck

Mark Manson

https://markmanson.net/not-giving-a-f*ck

Every generation thinks they are different.  Every generation thinks they are going to change the world. Then they get into their 30’s and start looking for answers to the bigger questions in life.  What they find is that these questions and the answers have always been there.  Generation after generation since the Greeks and Persians started writing them down.

I think this is that book for the kids who grew up in the 90’s at the dawn of the internet.  Mark, the author, made his way in this world by starting a blog and following that where it took him.  It sounds like a cliché storyline, but that is how he came to this point and this book.

He sat down and started writing.  He wrote about his thoughts and his life and the things that troubled him.  It turns out if you do that with enough panache people will be interested, you’ll form a little tribe of celebrity and it becomes a business of sorts.

According to the dust cover he has sold over 2 million copies of this book.  I think that is due to the brilliant title and the timing was right for his generation.

There’s nothing terribly new in any of the philosophies here.  It’s a hodgepodge of stuff; from Buddhism to jingoism.  But, it’s the right book at the right time for a generation that is maturing and looking for some direction.

Due to it’s genesis, the prose retains that conversational, first person, bloggy style that we get so much of these days. It’s not awful and it matches well with the subject matter and his style of storytelling.  And he uses the F word copiously like a man joyfully spreading cream cheese on a bagel.

The basic appeal of the message is that it gives permission to this generation to stop worrying so much and get out of their own way.  i.e. act as if you don’t give a f*ck.

Guess what?  You’re nothing special.  You are going to die.  Life is full of pain and suffering and anxiety so get over yourself and choose the suffering that leads to something better for you.

I guess for a generation that has been told they are unique snowflakes this is a revelation.

The book has also become a favorite of sales people and business people because it gives them permission to act as if they don’t give a f*ck.  This is a form of detachment that is quite helpful in business and sales.  If you don’t give a f*ck you can detach from the results and it frees you up to operate in your space effectively without having to worry about consequences so much.

This simple mindset can help eliminate the anxiety people get which can be paralyzing.  I’m not going to write that book because what if I fail?  What if people hate it?  What if they tell me I’m terrible?  Detachment allows you to set all that aside and get on with your life.

He then proceeds to meander through a mélange of Buddhism, nihilism, and Stoicism.  I particularly liked the part where he reminds us that life is suffering.  There’s not getting around it.  But you can choose your suffering.  That helped me where I was having a lot of work anxiety.  I got to remind myself that I chose this, and I could very well choose something else.

He goes on to reiterate the ‘failing forward’ philosophy that has become a bit fetishized in the last couple decades.  But, his point is valid that if you don’t know what to do, just do something!  Fail and figure it out.  (and while you’re at it don’t give a f*ck about the failure).

Overall it’s an easy-breezy read.  A shallow wading through the philosophy that a new generation needs to hear.  He tells stories to back up his points and manages to find a couple that I hadn’t heard before.  (I did have a slap my forehead moment when he poached a Tony Robbins bit)

Makes me feel like an old curmudgeon shouting at the kids to get off his lawn!  So, Guess what kids? Life sucks, then you die!

That’s not the end of the story kids.

It’s ok that life sucks and it’s ok that you die.  That should make you even more interested in living life like you don’t give a f*ck.