Happy is the new Healthy!

Attitude is a state of mind.

The Amazon Kindle store is always trying to push books on me.  They are like a drug dealer on the corner whispering sweet offers from the shadows every time I check my email.

“Pssst! Hey Chris, we noticed you like science fiction, how about these 3 book s that are only 99¢…You know you want them…What, you don’t have time to read 3 more books, but it’s only 99¢…come on…you know you want to…”

And so it was that I found myself with the book “Happy Is the New Healthy: 31 Ways to Relax, Let Go, and Enjoy Life NOW!” by Dave Romanelli.

It seemed innocuous enough.

Dave, it seems, is some sort of funny, neurotic, blog-writing yoga instructor, who I think would either be really entertaining or totally annoying to be trapped next to on a plane.

The book seems to be a collection of 31 blog posts or individual life lessons on how to stay happy and not lose it in the crazy world we live in.

Some are better than others and there isn’t much of a through line.  There’s no story arc.  More of a loose collection of thoughts.  If you’re looking for a methodology or step-by-step or program to get happy and healthy then this isn’t going to do it.  If you’re looking for some funny and randomly muse-tickling vignettes – it’s just fine.

Here are some nuggets I pulled out.

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“There are so many people with talent and so few with real tenacity.”

This is a sentiment that has proven to be true over and over in my own life.  When you get to the top of the game you find two type of people, truly talented people and people that are willing to work hard and push through.  And when you find someone who has both – those are the real standouts.

The lesson for me is to not overthink which direction to go, but just to go and push through and you may not get where you’re going but you’ll get somewhere and you’ll be richer for it.

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“As Douglas MacArthur said, “Youth is not entirely a time of life—it is a state of mind. It is not wholly a matter of ripe cheeks, red lips, or supple knees. It is a temper of the will, a quality of the imagination, a vigor of the emotions.””

Much of what I enjoyed in this reading were the quotes that Dave pulled out and salted through the work.  We all think about age.  Some of us more than others.  I heard a scientist this week who said we reach the peak of our mental abilities at age 23.  But, aging, like so many other things seems to have some choice involved.

You can choose to age well and use the new gifts you accumulate over the years.  You can choose to retain he attitude of youth.  A key to this is to always be planning for a brighter tomorrow and expecting it.  This in turn influences how you feel both mentally and physically.  So, yes you can choose to age or not.

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“American actor John Barrymore said, “You don’t age until your regrets outnumber your dreams.””

This speaks to the happiness of the moment that is a common theme in Dave’s ‘Philosophy’.  When you get to that point in your life where you are regretting things you’ve done or not done you are robbing yourself of your future.  You are choosing to be made miserable by regrets.  You’re letting the regrets outweigh the happiness of the current moment and the brightness of the future.

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“While the increased connectivity, access to all those articles, and constant communication with others can be a good thing (especially for business), too much technology creates “absence.” Absence of time, absence of sensation, absence of peace.

The antidote to absence is presence. It’s the feeling you have after a long, sweet nap, or when eating comfort food on a dark, cold night, or when taking a break at 1:11.”

I’m not sure I buy the argument that technology is killing our awareness, but I do think we need to proactively find presence in our lives.  Much like anything important, that peaceful, introspective, healing moment whether alone or with loved ones, needs to be scheduled and stewarded so its power is not forgotten.

Or as Dave quotes later – “To the mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders.” Lao-Tzu

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“Søren Kierkegaard said, “The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays.””

When you pray, or meditate or any other quiet, thoughtful stewardship of your mind it’s not to change something external.  It is to change yourself. Be the change you want to see in the world and start with your thoughts.

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“In the fight between you and the universe, I’ll back the universe.” -Frank Zappa

The universe, fate, God – whatever you want to call it – is always talking to us.  It’s trying to send us messages.  Or maybe it’s just some deeper part of ourselves trying to be helpful. It’s a mistake to ignore these messages.

As he says later in the book – “A wise person said that first the universe will throw a pebble, and if you don’t listen, then the universe will throw a rock, and if you still don’t listen, then it will throw a brick wall.”

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“Take a moment to sit with the following questions:

• How do you want to be remembered?
• Whose life have you impacted deeply?
• Have you shared your secrets and gifts with another who can continue your legacy?
• Have you dared to dream your greatest dream?
• If you could be present at your own funeral, what eulogy would you hope to hear?”

One of the things 98% of the people who you walk by in this world are thinking is “what the hell is my purpose in life?”  These are some great questions to take with you to a quiet place with your favorite notebook and do some good work on yourself and your life.

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“And let there be no doubt, you have a spectacular gift, your unique genius to share with the world.”

The second thing that 98% of the people you walk by are thinking is “What do I have to offer?  I’m not special?  I’ve got nothing unique.”  Everyone has a gift.  You have a gift.  Everyone is uniquely something. Don’t hide your gift.  Who are you to think that you have the right to keep your gift from us? Share it with the world.

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“If there is one important lesson I have learned in business, wellness, and life, it is this: do not get caught in the middle. People caught in the middle are mired in mediocrity. They sort of try and sort of don’t. They sort of pay attention to their kids and sort of don’t. They sort of believe and sort of don’t. Such behavior suggests a life half-lived. If you are going to celebrate, then celebrate! Take the moment by storm. Savor the chocolate! Hug with your body and not your hands. Connect on the high five! “

Part of Dave’s whole zeitgeist is to enjoy the moment.  And I have to agree.  If you’re going to do something go all in.  Make it count. Don’t walk away with regrets that you could have done something with more vigor and enthusiasm. If you don’t have that vigor and enthusiasm or can’t summon it, then do something else.

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“The greatest humans to have walked the earth have known that love is the highest frequency, the strongest response, the ultimate form of offense and defense.”

This reminds me of the Covey story where he tells the man that love is not a noun, it’s a verb.  And love has much less to do with the lovable nature of the object of your love then your ability to manifest love and share it.

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“If it feels like life is passing you by, let it go! Why walk in someone else’s footsteps when you can walk down your own awesome path. The Grateful Dead sing it perfectly in the song “Ripple”:

“There is a road, no simple highway, Between the dawn and the dark of night, And if you go, no one may follow That path is for your steps alone.””

Just like you have your unique gift to share, you have your own unique path to walk.  Stop worrying about why your path is different or crooked and start enjoying the walk.

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“When we are defined by our routines, we deny the universe opportunities to reach us.  But, when we break free of our routines, we are ripe for revelation.”

This is a trap that I fall into. I tend to want to optimize and routinize all aspects of my life so I can live with efficiency and get more stuff done.  But, those routines come with the risk of sleepwalking through life with the proverbial blinders on.  You can miss opportunities and side paths to something unplanned and wonderful.

Because, at the end of the day you’re just walking towards death and you probably shouldn’t hurry.

As Dave says: “adopt the pace of nature.”

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“With the inhale, I am strong. With the exhale, I am free.”

I liked the feel of this as a meditation mantra.  Close your eyes, breathe and say “With the inhale, I am strong. With the exhale, I am free.”

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“…here we all are, souls in spacesuits, wandering Earth.”

Again, we are only on this planet for a brief time. We are spirits and souls and life essence beyond the physical and I really liked the visual that Dave creates here of us just being souls in spacesuits briefly wandering this rock. Make good use of your time.  Don’t waste it being miserable.

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And to finish things off Dave talks about the fact that we are more than just one person.  We have the potential within us to manifest as different selves.  But one of these selves is our higher self.  The best, happy and fulfilled version and manifestation of our self.

This is the version of our self that we need to find and put in charge of our life.

He tells us like a coach; “It is time for a coup! Take a moment to name your Highest Self and anoint Him/Her as President of your life.”