Doing ‘resolutions’ right

Doing ‘resolutions’ right…

How to use this new year momentum to actually effect change for the better in your life.

At the risk of piling on the resolution bandwagon let me give you a few tips that will allow you to create positive change in your life (regardless of what time of year it is)

My gym is full of overweight confused people.  So is my pool.  It’s January again. The TV and radio and internet are swarmed with Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, NutraSystems, and all the other forms of taking money from people who want to change but don’t know how.

They know, like we all know that the human condition is to strive.  Striving is a good thing.  Misdirected striving can be painful.  I’m not a doctor or a psychologist.  I’m not skinny or athletic.  But I’m at peace with myself and I know how to build a process that is within my abilities to execute that creates positive growth in my life.

Let me share with you my thoughts.

What is wrong with a New Year’s resolution?  Nothing.  I think they are a great starting point, but typically they lack the emotional staying power to actually create change in your life.

These resolutions typically take the form of short term goals.  “I want to get in shape.” Or “I want to lose weight.” Or “I want to stop smoking.”  I think these are a great starting point because they are the symptoms and manifestation of unhappiness with a current state.  (also note that these are inherently negative statements)

What is going on in your brain that you are unhappy or unfulfilled to the point that these things manifest?  I would propose that these symptoms manifest because something is out of whack.  Your current state does not align with what your beliefs are.  At a very personal level you are feeling a dynamic tension between what you believe your state should be and what your current state is.

You subconsciously hear the alarm ringing and your consciousness is thrashing around looking for a way to resolve this tension.  It latches on to the easiest thing at hand – the popular psyche of a New Year’s resolution.

The real question then is how do we leverage this desire, this resolve, in such a way as to get real positive change?

I radically propose re-engineering from the resolution to the meaning – use this symptom to get to the heart of the solution.

Start by writing down all these ‘want-to-have’ resolutions.  Don’t think, just write as fast as you can. Let’s say your resolutions are:

–        Lose weight

–        Get in Shape

–        Read more

–        Make more money

–        Spend more time with family

–        Keep your house clean

Great! Now ask the question ‘why?’

Why do you want to lose weight?  Because it will make you happier?  Because it will improve your relationships? Because you need your health? What is the core driver of this resolution?  What is the personal belief that it supports?

Do this for each resolution and see what the list of personal, or core beliefs is that you come up with.  Rank order these.  Which is most important.

For me I come up with things like:

–        Growth

–        Fulfillment

–        Achievement

–        Health

–        Love

These are things that are important to me that I want to build my life around.

Once you have your set of ‘why it is important’ beliefs you can work back towards your goals and plans.

Take it to the next level.

I believe that I need to have growth.  I support this growth through:

–        Growth

• Change
• Challenge
• Learning
• Risk

Interesting…no?  So what would be some goals (some resolutions) that would satisfy these personal drivers?

For example – Change – What next level can I take my career path to this year?  By the way this change would also involve risk and challenge. Is there anything in my personal life that I would like to change or make into a new habit that would help me grow?

How about challenge?  You may not need to be challenged, I do.  It is one of my personal drivers.  Perhaps to requalify for Boston at a new older age, after a chronic injury with a new standard?  Perhaps to do an IM?  The IM also supports growth through learning.

You see how now you can engineer a set of goals that will satisfy multiple personal beliefs and align with what your subconscious is telling you.

Your resolutions are your business, not mine.  Your personal beliefs and drivers will be different or at least prioritized differently than anyone else’s.

Treat this as a thought exercise.  Jot down your resolutions, your “want to haves” and see if you can tease out the ”Why?”  It’s not rocket science and there is no right answer but it may give you the insight to understand why you want what you want and it may help you construct the mental scaffolding to help you get there.

Chris,