A short review of a short book on fear.

There is an imprint in the UK, part of Random House publishing called “Quick Reads” that published short books.  I know this because I bought one.  It was called “Feel the Fear and do it anyway” by Susan Jeffers.

I did not know I was buying a short book.  I don’t feel cheated, but it does explain some of the clumsiness of the prose.  I didn’t know I was reading an abridged edition until I was done and was reading the dust cover.  The book was recommended by the author of another book I read recently, No more Mr. Nice Guy, as a bit of a companion piece to that book’s content.

Apparently the original work is a hefty 217 pages whereas the one I read weighed in at 110 pages.  Makes me wonder if I’m only going to be able to get rid of 49.3% of my fear.  Much to my surprise it was originally published in 1997 – that’s more than 30 years ago.

This outfit in the UK called Quick Reads is on a mission to create more readers by taking books and making them accessible.  They do this by removing every other page, I guess.  Reminds me of that scene in Catch 22 where Yosarian is redacting letters home by removing all the adjectives and pronouns or something.

It only took me two sittings to read through the book.   I got some insights out of it.  Some of it tilled old ground but some of it was fabulous.

It makes perfect sense now.  I found the prose hard to pay attention to.  I found I ‘lost the scent’ of the points in multiple places as I was reading and now I know that’s because there was a lot of connective tissue shaved out.

They shaved out the connective tissue and left the meat.  That made it hard to digest.

First thing she says, which I mentioned previously in my comments on Dr. Glover’s book, is to say what ever happens you can handle it.  If you are having anxiety about unknown outcomes simply remind yourself that whatever happens you will handle it.  That takes the energy out of the unknown.

Next she reminds us that fear never goes away.  If it does, you should worry because that means you’re not growing.  If you are growing as a person there is always going to be unknown territory, and important stakes to be anxious about.

She says the only way to get rid of the fear is to do something.  Again we see that by biasing yourself to take action you stop being the victim and take control of your power.  She calls this the ‘pain to power’ spectrum.  Where you are now is pain.  The object is to move from pain to power.  How you do that is by taking action.

Pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the constant fear that comes from feeling helpless.

The most wonderful and important concept that she gifted me was the concept of a no-lose decision.  The no-lose decision in partnership with the ‘I can handle it’ will turn all your anxiety about outcomes into personal power.

How does this work?

Well most of us are hard wired to look at decisions as win or lose outcomes.  Standing where we are, at the decision point in time, we don’t know which path will be the better choice.  We fear making a bad decision because we have this win-lose assumption.

If we choose wrong it is a loss or a failure.  We get anxiety about making that choice.  We may even refuse to make a decision because we so fear being wrong or being accountable for the bad decision and the failure.  It can lead to anxiety and paralysis.

Instead, she says, al you have to do is look at the decision as a win-win instead of a win-lose.  If you decide one way you win, if you decide the other way you win too.  The worst thing you can do is stay put or avoid the decision.  That is helplessness. Take your power and make a decision.

If you get down the path and things don’t turn out as expected you still win.  At the very least you have learned something.  If you go into it with that attitude either choice is probably going to be more successful because you carry that power and positive momentum into it.

And of course, she reminds us that there is no straight line path in life.  Our lives are squiggly lines with a lot of learning and course corrections.  That’s the way we want it to be.  That makes it exciting, fulfilling and worthwhile.

She wraps up with a remonstration to say yes more, I.e. see those open doors and walk through them, and to ultimately choose love.  If you choose love you have a leg up and live in an abundant universe.

I don’t know what she said in the other 107 pages that I didn’t’ get to read, but these pages, albeit a bit choppy had some good nuggets.

So if you are afraid and have a short attention span try reading the abridged version of Feel the Fear and do it Anyway.