5 ways that following your passion is a myth
I have had this conversation with a couple people this week. Some people my age but also with a Millennial. We were commiserating about the ‘advice’ being given out to people, youngsters in particular.
Over the last couple years it’s been trendy to say “all you have to do is find your passion”. If you find that thing that you’re passionate about and pursue it as your life’s purpose and your career you’ll always be happy and lead a fulfilling complete life.
If it were this simple the world would consist of mediocre ballet dancers and bad poets. There’s a reason it doesn’t. There are natural forces at work.
- Confusing happiness with pleasure.
The first thing that bothers me about this is we seem to be equating happiness with pleasure. I mean I’m all for pleasurable experiences but I’m sure you’ll agree with me that the most important and fulfilling things we stumble upon in life aren’t always pleasant.
I’ll be lining up for my 18th Boston Marathon in a couple weeks and I can honestly say there isn’t much pleasant about racing a marathon. It is extraordinarily fulfilling for me. It has been life changing and even life defining for me but pleasure? No.
This journey of mine with endurance sports has been hard, but that is part of what makes it worthy.
When we tell people to seek their passion but define it as the thing they love to do it sends the wrong message. My fear would be that they take the easy path in pursuit of pleasure instead of the worthy path in pursuit of passion.
- Confusing passion with hobbies
You may really like comic books, but you probably don’t want to own a comic book store. You may love to cook, but that doesn’t make you a restaurateur. By telling people to find and follow their passion we may be laying a false trail. I used to make beer, that doesn’t mean I should open a brewery. It’s ok to have hobbies. But, don’t’ confuse them with purpose.
The key question for you to ask is will this still be a passion if I HAVE to do it? Will it still be fulfilling and fun if I have to do it for 100 hours a week and not get paid enough to survive?
The current advice shames or forces people to take perfectly good, fulfilling hobbies and turn them into nightmare careers. Just because you love to run marathons doesn’t make you a coach – and that’s ok. Hobbies are great. Hobbies are a big part of our portfolio lives, but understand them for what they are.
- Confusing passion with talent
Guess what? You may not be talented enough to succeed at your passion. In any given pursuit only the top few achieve pro status. We see it in sports. We see it everywhere. Putting in your 10,000 hours of effort doesn’t guarantee you will be great. You’ll probably be good, maybe very good, but great is something given not gotten.
Your passion may be ballet or basketball but there are only a few that will be able to do it as a viable career. That doesn’t mean it can’t still be your passion. That doesn’t mean you can’t participate and draw great fulfillment from it. But it may not be your career.
It doesn’t have to be. You can have your passions and also make enough doe to put bread on your table.
- There is only one, true, all-consuming passion.
Not only are we told we need to find and pursue our passion but we are told that there is only one true, soul-burning passion. We are shamed if we can’t glint steely-eyed into the void and declare our one passion.
It’s a bunch of bull. Sure, some people might be wired that way, but that doesn’t make them any better or smarter or happier than you. The majority of us aren’t wired that way.
I might suggest that maybe those of us with a portfolio of passions have a better chance at happiness and fulfillment. You can have many passions. Why not? Your passions will change over time. They will ebb and flow with your life. Roll with it.
- It’s ok to get a job
You know what’s a good way to support your passions? Having a paycheck.
“But, I don’t know what I want to do with my life!” It’s ok. I’ll share a secret with you. Nobody does. Those that say they do are either hypnotized or lying.
The trick is to do something. One of the best things you can do is to get a job. Yeah, many jobs aren’t that fulfilling but they can enable your passions. They can also help you find your path. They can lead you to things and situations and people that will uncover the nascent passions in your soul as you roll through your life.
In my defense, I’m not being negative, I’m not being cynical or even realistic. I’m just pointing out that all this pop-advice around finding your passion may be more harmful than helpful.
Life is a buffet of people, places and things. Get out there and start sampling and see what (or who) you like and what (or who), just maybe, you might be passionate about. Don’t pack yourself uncomfortably into a monolithic ‘passion’ or ‘purpose’ if it’s not right for you.
(Sorry for all the initial typos – I was in an airport and it was late 🙂 – Chris