Permission

Permission

You don’t need permission to change the world.

I read an article by Mark Cuban last week.  In it he talked about his first couple jobs and how he ended up where he is.  Where he is, is the owner of the Dallas Mavericks Basketball team and one of the internet millionaires that came out of the 90’s.

In his story he talks about how he was fired from his first couple jobs.  Not because he did the job poorly, but because he did things without asking permission.

Culturally we are all bound by the assumption that we need to ask for permission.  Today I want you to consider that cultural artifact and whether or not you are giving it too much power over your life.

Mr. Cuban got fired from his first jobs by trying to do too much, by doing things above and beyond the defined scope of the job.  ‘Acting above his pay grade’ as they say in the army.

In one case his boss told him NOT to pick up a big check from a client. Mark reasoned that no one in a company would be mad when he showed up with a big check.  Mark got fired for picking up the check. Because he didn’t have permission and that was more important to his boss than the business results.

But the point of the story was that Mark was grateful to those bosses for firing him and glad that he did things without permission and glad that he got fired because all those things defined him and forced him down his path. Those things, and those attributes, ended up making him very successful in business.

There is a famous quote that has been attributed to many people that goes: “It is easier to ask for forgiveness than to get permission.”

I have had personal experience with this recently.  I’m helping a young person look for their first job.  This young person was horrified when I said to just start calling CEO’s and pitching.

She said: “What if they get mad?  I don’t have any experience.  How can I call a CEO?”

You see, she was afraid of breaking this strong cultural barrier.

I said, “Look, give yourself permission to call.  They won’t get mad at you.  Most executives love it when young people take initiative and are positively aggressive.  And – Who cares if they get mad at you anyhow? You don’t have a job today, what’s the worst thing that can happen?  You won’t have a job after the call.  But, I’ll tell you that executives are impressed by people who take the initiative and this is the shortest line between you and a job.”

Ho many of you would be willing to take that path?  The shortest path to a job? Or would you spend hours on polishing your resume and soliciting head hunters, combing job boards and help wanted ads? In other words you would spend all your energy seeking permission instead of hunting for what you want.

Here’s another example: I am on the receiving end of a person who complains about their job and the owners of the company they work for.  At some point in the conversation – if you can call being whined at incessantly a conversation – I’ll interrupt and say “If you don’t like your job, why don’t you do something else. In fact, I can’t believe you pour so much energy into this job that causes you so much consternation.”

They will respond with “But, what else could I do?  Who would hire me?”

They are stuck in the assumption that jobs are things that you are given.  They are things that you need permission to do.  So much of this is just programmed into us from the day we are born that we are somehow not worthy.  That we need to beg and grovel to higher authorities for our bread and circus.

Take your head out of your backside, my friend, you don’t need permission.  You don’t need permission to do what you love.  You don’t need permission to be happy.  You don’t need permission to love.

I’m sorry, but you define your story.  No one has to give you permission.  You give yourself permission.

If you really think that you need permission, then fine.  Here it is.  I give you permission to do what makes you happy.  I give you permission to be a fully functional, fulfilled and empathic member of the world community.

Feel better?  Probably not, because I’m not the one who you need permission from.  YOU are who you need to get permission from.

Why not give yourself permission?  Here’s an exercise: Write down “I give myself permission to be happy and fulfilled.” Fold it up and carry it around with you and read it every time you feel like you need to kowtow to some institution or deity or person.

Why do we wait around for permission while life dances by with all its opportunity?

Waiting for permission is deeply ingrained in our culture.  Why? Because it’s another way for the people who have power to create barriers to those who want it.  Institutionalize those barriers with religion and government and family.  And you, my friends, unwittingly reinforce the shackles of your own feudal system by seeking permission.

Why do we put up with and condone our oppression of permission?  Because it is comfortable.  It gives us a context for our lives.

Why do we find it so hard to give ourselves permission?  Because that means breaking the context and without the context to fall back on we feel lost.   We feel unanchored.

It’s about choice my friends.  You can choose to give yourself permission.  That decision is the easy part.  The hard part is the repercussion of that permission where it intersects with the permission giving institutions of your world.  They don’t react kindly.

Another story from business – When Henry Ford came up with his idea for the peoples’ car, the model A, he had to go to a board that owned the patent for the manufacture of gasoline automobiles called the Association of Licensed Automobile Manufacturers.  He had to ask permission to build his cars.  They turned him down.  Henry started building them anyhow.  He took them to court and eventually he won.

When you ask for permission you are setting yourself up to get turned down.  But if you believe in what you are doing you can give yourself permission and just do it.

There’s good news here too.  You could be part of the permission vanguard.  The world that we live in today is shifting away from a permission based environment.  No publisher needs to give you permission to publish your novel anymore.  You don’t need to go hat-in-hand to MacMillan anymore.  If you have a couple hundred bucks you can be on Amazon too.

But, we as humans are still stuck in the sticky webs of the institutions of permission that we grew up with.

You may need permission to drive a car on the public roads or fly a jet plane in the public sky but you don’t need permission for one big thing.  You don’t need permission to change yourself.  You may need courage and you may need help but you don’t need permission to change yourself.

And when you dig up the courage to change yourself, you also change the world.