How to be brilliant all the time
Or at least when you need to be
At some point over the last few year I wrote a post about the importance of “moments of truth”. These are those events, situations and moments in your life where what you do, what you say and what decision you make can change you future.
These moments of truth have a high perceived value. They are the big test, the big game, the big interview and the audition. If you are able to ‘ace’ this moment doors will open for you in your life and your career.
These moments of truth also have a perceived high risk. If you fail that test, if you fumble the ball or if you blow the audition your life is ruined!
If there was ever a time to bring your ‘A’ game, it is for the moment of truth.
Beyond these big moments of truth our lives are filled with thousands of smaller daily moments of truth.
Personal moments of truth are everywhere all the time. Every interaction with your spouse or your kids, or even the lack of that interaction is a moment of truth that can subtly change your life and theirs.
Outside of your family, your work life and your daily interactions with coworkers and bosses and vendors and customers – each one of those is a moment of truth. Every time you interact with someone they are taking notes, they are positioning you in their own constellation of participants.
They ARE judging you and ranking you. Don’t be offended. All humans do it.
You’d be surprised at how quickly others will act to categorize you based on these brief interactions. Understanding the depth and nuances of individuals and personalities is hard work so most people come up with short cuts. They’ll just remember you as the person who didn’t smile nor had no good answer.
I’ve got two lessons for you today. The first is to understand that every interaction you have, every transaction is a small moment of truth. Don’t throw them away. Take the time to look people in the eye. Take the time to ask them how they are and if there is anything you can do to help.
The simplest and most powerful thing, that costs you nothing, is to at all times, simply try to be positive. Be the person who wants to help. Be the person who wants to understand. Be the person who says everything can be fixed and that everything is going to be ok. Bring that positive attitude to your interactions and you will be categorized quickly as a valuable person and a valuable partner.
But, you’ve heard all that before from me so I’ll move on to my second point. How to be brilliant when there is that BIG moment of truth.
The simple fact is that you can anticipate moments of truth. They do not randomly happen. I know, for instance, that a politically powerful executive in one of my meetings or presentations may seek to express his power by challenging me. He or she will come out of the gate swinging and it may look like rudeness or a personal attack. They will ask attack questions with disempowering assumptions like “This kind of thing always fails. Why should I give you even 5 minutes?”
The situation here is not important. I’m just using this case to highlight my point about those big moments of truth.
In this case the executive doesn’t want to know the answer to the question. They want to know what kind of person I am and if I am someone they can do business with. They want to watch how I react to the attack and how I answer the question. They want to know if I’m an alpha dog. They are in a very real sense creating a moment of truth to see how I handle it.
The way I respond will determine if our companies can work together.
I have been in this situation enough times that I know how to react and how to answer. Even though this is a non-scripted interaction, an impromptu moment of truth, it really isn’t. I know it is coming in my particular context and I have learned how to read, interpret and use these moments of truth.
I could set up my life in such a way as to avoid this type of stressful moment of truth interaction or I can become aware of them and prepare. If I am prepared for the question then I can make it look like I am responding unscripted, and off-the-cuff when in reality I am not. I do this and I send the signal that the alpha dog is looking for.
If you examine the big moments of truth in your life you’ll find that many of them fall in the category of things you can prepare for.
In this case the thing I am always preparing for, and always preparing the people who work for and with me for, is the ‘hard question’. Every job or role has its top ten hard questions. You know what they are. Don’t wait until you’re in front of a crowd in a conference room and look like a deer in the headlights. Write down your top 3-5-10 hard questions and script a compelling answer to them.
If you’re new to a position ask someone. Ask your customers and your vendors and your partners. What are the top three hard questions that you get asked?
Write down the questions and then write up compelling responses to them. Then practice your answer. (By the way this is a great way to create compelling blog posts and white papers that will get you noticed in your industry)
I’ll give you another example. You are called to present at a big meeting. How do you react? Do you try to avoid it? Do you stumble through it? Or do you see it as an opportunity? How many points in your life have you been called upon to speak and you have fumbled it?
Folks, you know at some point you are going to get called on to speak, whether it’s answering a question or you find yourself in an elevator with the CEO, it’s going to happen. Why not prepare some words? Why not be ready to present at a moment’s notice, not just any answer but a powerful, thoughtful answer?
You can do that by preparing ahead of time.
You may remember a politician from Massachusetts named Tip Oneil. Tip was a power broker in the US Congress for many years. Tip could tell a story, or a joke or stand up and entertain a crowd.
How did he acquire this talent to always be ready with an impromptu speech?
In his autobiography, “Speaker of the House”, he told a story about how when he met with Boston’s Mayor Curly and the master politician told him to memorize certain parts of famous speeches, and even some Shakespeare. This way whenever Tip was called upon to speak he would always have something important and thoughtful sounding to say.
See? In this way Tip was able to succeed at many of the moments of truth that confront a politician.
You can do the same thing. You may not be a politician, but every role has its great stories that can be learned and told. Do your own research and be prepared when a question is asked or you have to stand up and speak – own those high impact moments of truth.
Learn how to tell good stories that are compelling. Take the time. Hard questions and good stories will get you through 80% of the moments of truth in any job with flying colors.
I had a boss in one of my companies. We were going through some sort of transition, I don’t even remember what, but this guy had to meet with us and explain to us the new organization.
It would have been easy for him to mail this meeting in. But he did not. As he got into his talk I realized that he had scripted these words for impact, that he was doing that extra work to make this an impactful moment for us.
I don’t know if anyone else realized. I picked up on it because, well it takes one to know one. It wasn’t the content or the delivery that impressed me. It was the fact that he took the time to create and script his words for this interaction that impressed me. He understood the value of this interaction and treated it as a moment of truth.
That guy ended up as the CEO and is now president of an even larger company.
If you know a particular interaction has the potential to be a moment of truth put the effort into preparing. If you have the opportunity, why not make yourself look brilliant? Don’t assume people want a middle of the road answer or speech or talk – find a way to add emotion to it. Make it impactful. If you have the opportunity to set yourself apart from the pack, seize it.
You know your industry or situation. Make sure to allocate some time each week to study up on what’s going on and be prepared to talk and tell stories.
Be prepared.
I know what many of you are thinking. These moment of truth interactions are by definition very stressful. Maybe you go into the moment of truth prepared with good intentions but you are so stressed out about it you can’t execute, you can’t deliver. You freeze.
This, my friends, is a case of not bringing the proper intent or inner game into the interaction. You are focusing on all the bad things that can happen. We talked about this before – that is an attitude of scarcity. You want to bring an attitude of abundance to the interaction.
You need to bring a confident calm inner game to the interaction. How do you do this? Well there are many ways to eliminate stress but practice is probably the best. If you can prepare then you can practice too. Run through how the ‘good’ scenario is going to go over and over in your mind.
The other thing that I find helpful when I find the stress level rising is to remember who I am and what I am capable of. In the heat of the battle I can re-center to that sense of self that I have cultivated over time and my confidence returns. Many times I’ll smile too. In stressful, combative interactions people become hyper-sensitive to your physical cues so watch your body language and smile. Guess what? You can practice that too.
As you start to get some experience in acing your moments of truth you will develop the self confidence to be able to react appropriately to those moments of truth that are ambushes. Like when someone corners you and aggressively asks you a yes or no question. No matter how you answer you’re in trouble.
If you have cultivated your inner game you can work with these ambushes by pushing back or choosing the third way. You need not be cowed by an aggressor.
So my friends I hope this has given you some food for thought on how to look spontaneously brilliant in your important interactions. Moments of truth are still moments of truth but they don’t have to be surprises. If you look at the moments of truth in your life you can find a way to prepare and practice and use them to your advantage.