New year, new goals

So my friends, what are you doing to set new goals in the new year?

Are you dusting off some old familiar, more-of-the same goals?  (Even thought you didn’t hit them last year.)

This year is going to be different!  You’re going to buckle down! Do things better! Nose to the grindstone!

Wait. What does that even mean?  Nose to the grindstone? Apparently its first reference in writings from 1532.  We think the grindstone in question was for sharpening blades or other work.  The worker sat on this contraption and peddled it to make a stone wheel spin.  And when you were really working it you bent over the stone wheel with effort and concentration.  In this pose of concentrated effort you ‘put or held your nose to the grindstone’.

Regardless of that etymology, (or if you’re from the Midwest irregardless), goals don’t get achieved through focus.

Ouch.

What?

Yeah, trying harder actually makes everything harder and raises the probability that you’ll give up.

You really need better strategies.

And I’m going to pair it back to the basics for you.

How basic?

Well, we might expound on ‘understanding your why’ or ‘tying your goals to your purpose’… Blah, blah, blah…Yadda, yadda, yadda.

I’m going to take you deeper than that.

You shouldn’t set any goals.

You should spend that time and energy studying yourself.

You should work on yourself.  You should learn about yourself.  You should understand yourself.

Because no matter what goals you set you’re always going to bring you along for the ride.

As the estimated prophet Buckaroo Bonsai said, “No matter where you go, there you are.”

So if you are always going along for the ride you should figure out who you is.

Huh.

That’s it.

You want to be happy?  It’s not going to come from the next rung on the ladder or the next PR.  It’s going to come from being comfortable with yourself in a crowded room.

So how about this?

Let’s’ have a 30 day challenge where the only goal is to study yourself, to be with yourself and to know yourself.

How do you do this?

I don’t know.  Figure it out.  That’s the fun part.  Figuring it out.  The quest.  The search.

Turn over some cushions and see where the loose change is.

I have some thoughts.

First thought: shut off the external noise.  See if you can go 30 days without the news, the social media, the stuff that buzzes and beeps and dings.

Second thought: Replace that external noise with reading, walking and listening.

Don’t consume.

Don’t gobble.

Engage.  Engage with things that bring you self-love, joy and maybe self-knowledge.

Third thought: Practice solitude.  This entity that you spend your life trying to avoid, this you, spend some alone time with them.  Try meditation.  Try long runs or walks in the nature.  See what happens.

Fourth thought: Cherish your mornings.  There is just something prayerful and joyous about being alone and contemplative in the early morning.  Find a morning routine that forces you to spend some time writing about yourself, thinking about yourself, communing with yourself.

Fifth thought: Listen.  No, actually listen.  Take the headphones out and listen.  Listen to yourself alone in this beautiful world.

Sixth thought: hold those you love close.  Friendship is a wonderful salve for the soul.  Tell someone you are grateful for their friendship.  Hold a hug a few microseconds longer.  Be present in those relationships.  Risk yourself.

And, my friends, if at the end of all that you feel like you need to set some goals, have at it.  Do something big.  Do something uncomfortable.  Do something small.  Or don’t do anything at all.

For the person that knows themselves, truly knows themselves, doesn’t need goals.