Injury Recovery: On Totems and Fear
Getting out of your own head
There is this delicate time of fragility when one is just setting forth on the road of wellness after a period of injury. This is not only a physically delicate time for the athlete, but it is also a mentally fragile time. A time of fear.
We toddle forth, blinking and unsure to restart our athletic endeavors. It can be a scary time.
After exerting so much mental energy trying to stay sane during the long lean times of injury you would think that we would explode back into athletics newly born and exuberant. It is not the case.
Although the injury may be healed, or at least on the mend, it stays with us in our mind. It lurks back there in that dark place like a menacing specter peering over our shoulder as we take those first and second tentative strides.
What if it isn’t ready? What if I hurt myself again? Will I be able to withstand the horror of the inside of my own waiting mind when the injury is re-injured? I barely survived last time…
Is this really about injury? Is it even about re-injury? No. What you are dealing with here is fear. Like anything else you need to face your fear, to find a way, to find a ritual that will allow you to align your purpose above the fear.
It’s not all mental. On a practical level, when in the early days of return from an injury you do need to think about how you can influence the odds in your favor. There are tactical things you can do and earthly devices you can use to guard against re-injury.
Depending on the injury these may take different forms.
First you can look at the behavior that got you into this place. Did you over-train? Did you do too many races in a row? Did you do something that was beyond your body’s ability to cope or to recover? Try not to walk down that same road again.
How can you modify your training and your racing to prevent the injury from happening again? How many times do we see people who keep getting the same injury again and again because they keep doing the same things? A modification of your approach can save you from suffering.
If you were looking for an opportunity to fix your mechanics, to go barefoot, to cross train or any of those things that you always wanted to do if you only had the time, now is the time. You are starting fresh and you can establish new habits.
What’s an example from the extensive ‘Chris Files’? Early in my marathon racing career I kept getting injured with overuse injuries. I tore both Achilles. I had shin splints. I had runner’s knee. One thing I did to modify my behavior was to stop doing so much hard road work.
I switched my running to softer trails. I switched my racing to mountains and long trail races. This allowed my body to not only recover, but to get stronger and I discovered a renewed love for the open spaces.
A second thing you can do to raise your odds is to embrace your own physical therapy. Make this part of your running life. I learned to religiously stretch my Achilles tendons and the whole chain in the back of my legs.
I did not wait until it hurt or I was injured. Because I continue to maintain the flexibility of my Achilles I not only don’t get Achilles tendonitis, I race better and can load up miles faster. I discovered the weak point in my chain and removed it through targeted stretching.
I also have learned to self massage my Plantar Fascia to keep that evil at bay. I find I can be my own physical therapist and this not only helps my body physically but puts me in a closer state of communion with my machine. My fingers reaching into my muscles and tendons are an interaction that adds value.
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The third thing you can do is to support the recovering injury. I have a full collection of knee braces and ankle braces and wraps and sleeves. There is something ritualistic and comforting in a knee brace that goes above and beyond the physical support.
I have an Achilles splint that I sleep with as well. Using these things early in the process can prevent injury by adding a little support. They also help with the mental fear of re-injury.
This is the final and important point. Facing your fear. The truth is that I wore that knee brace and that ankle brace longer than I needed to. Why would I do that? Because the brace becomes a totem. It becomes a powerful medicine to ward off the evil spirits of the injury.
One of the ways to compartmentalize you fear of re-injury is to invest the rituals and totems in your running life with this protective power. If I rub down my legs before the race I won’t get cramps. How much of that is truth and how much is superstition? How much is positive confirmation bias?
People often say to me “Such-and-such doesn’t do anything, that’s just the placebo effect.” I think the placebo effect is another form of mind over matter self healing.
That’s not the important part. Your ritual could be writing your fear on a piece of paper, crumpling it up and throwing it away. Or it could be a special mantra that you recite as you take that last powerful breath before the great effort.
Your totem could be a medal of St. Anthony or a special cream or a magic pair of socks. Whatever it is it WILL work for you because you believe it will and through it you have faced and compartmentalized your fears. You have set those fears aside, made peace with them, (albeit an uneasy peace) and you are ready to move on with your life and put this injury, this learning, this pot hole on the road of your adventure aside.
As you take those first few tentative strides remember these things:
- Modify your behavior to help you be strong
- Become your own PT and work with your body
- Support the injury
- Face your fears, acknowledge them and move on.
I’ll be wearing my best calf sleeves and my lucky shirt and I’ll see you out there.
Chris Russelllives and trains in suburban Massachusetts with his family and Border collie Buddy. Chris is the author of “The Mid-Packer’s Lament”, and “The Mid-Packer’s Guide to the Galaxy”, short stories on running, racing, and the human comedy of the mid-pack. Chris writes the Runnerati Blog at www.runnerati.com. Chris’ Podcast, RunRunLive is available on iTunes and at www.runrunlive.com. Chris also writes for CoolRunning.com (Active.com) and is a member of the Squannacook River Runners and the Goon Squad.
Email me at cyktrussell at Gmail dot com
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I really needed to read this today. I am training for Boston and developed shin splints a few weeks ago. I took a few weeks off immediately, hoping that I wouldn’t hurt myself too much. Today was my first day back running and I am SO paranoid. I am extremely fearful of this not going away….but I have changed things up and hoping I will come back stronger. Nice post!
That’s great Robin! See you in Hopkinton