Courage
Much of the personal work and introspection of trying to be the best version of yourself, which honestly is never done, circles back around to one thing; courage.
Courage is doing something in the face of fear. Courage is leaving your comfort zone. Courage is moving away from the known into the unknown.
As humans we have an interesting relationship with courage. We are wired to avoid risk. Fear of the unknown is bred into us. At many points in our evolution the unknown could, actually kill us. The dark forest, the deep ocean and the sucking swamp.
These were not just existential threats they were real physical threats. Not so much anymore. But we still approach our lives as if there is danger. Courage is the ability to move forward through that fear.
Ironically, we have the most courage when we have nothing left to lose. When we are cornered, when there is no choice we fight back. Our fear gets out of the way and we let lose our natural courage.
Courage is not exclusively physical bravery, although that is also wired into us to admire the physically brave. Courage is the choosing to act in the face of fear. That is a uniquely human trait. To be able to make a conscious decision to act even thought our basic instinct is warning us not to.
In our modern lives there are smaller forms of courage. It takes courage to say ‘no’. Especially if you are a nice guy like me, (or gal) it is very hard to say ‘no’. You don’t want to disappoint or anger someone. You need their approval. It takes courage to say ‘no’.
It takes courage to follow your passion or do what you love. Especially if it is outside the norm of your social group. The fear here is that you will be alone and isolated. This also could get you killed in evolutionary times. We are tribal critters and it takes courage to step outside the norms, to leave the safety of the tribe.
It takes courage to do something different. When you have been running in the same groove, the same pattern, the same relationships for years it takes courage to change. To change means conquering your fear of moving from the known to the unknown.
It takes courage to persevere. To keep at something in the face of adversity, to stay in a place of mental or physical discomfort takes courage. Any endurance athlete knows this. Along with this it takes courage to suffer. Suffering with dignity and as a choice. Learning to find and feel what the suffering has to teach us, about ourselves, that takes courage.
It’s a miracle that any of us chose to step out of our houses in the morning. Each act requiring the courage of living through something new!
But we do it.
Because, what we know is, first, that place outside the known, that place outside the comfort zone is the place where learning and growth are accelerated and deepened. That is the place where our courage surprises us. We realize it was there all along and we never took the time to call upon it.
Secondly, courage allows us to realize when there are open doors and enables us to walk through them. In this abundant world we are surrounded by open doors. Our fear causes us to not see them or, when we do, to shy away from them. Practicing courage illuminates those doors so that we can walk through and see the undiscovered country on the other side.
Third, practicing courage creates a clearing for others to practice as well. Your courage becomes the example that others can and will follow.
And, finally, courage is inherently honest. When you have the courage to say what needs to be said, to do what needs to be done and to choose your path you are being honest. You are choosing honest action over fear.
And perhaps that is why we lionize courage in our heros as much as we do. Because it is the ultimate honesty. It is the choice to stand up and say “I go this way!”
My friends, practice courage. Say ‘no’. Do what you believe to be right. Lean into the fear and find that undiscovered country.