It’s not about you.
One of the things I was reminded of meeting people I haven’t met before was the stress of being put into social situations. Especially this time of year where you may be forced to go to your spouse’s Christmas party or other social gathering. You may find yourself surrounded by strange people and uncomfortable silences.
I’m really bad at social situations but I’ve developed a couple simple tactics that get me through it.
I’ll tell you what you don’t want to do. You don’t want to get drunk at the office party, but that’s a whole other topic! You don’t want to be a bore. Bores talk about themselves. Bores don’t let you finish your sentence. Bores show no interest in what you’re saying and change the subject to themselves as soon as possible.
What you do want to do is smile and make good eye contact with the people you are meeting. Look at that spot right on the bridge of the nose between the eyes. Make it a point to remember their names and use them often – as Dale Carnegie trainees will tell you a person’s name is the sweetest sound to them.
Then ask them questions about themselves and their work and their families. Take a genuine interest in the answers. If you do this they will think you are the nicest person they have ever met and you may actually learn something interesting. You’re never going to learn anything interesting if you keep interrupting and talking about yourself.
It’s not hard but you’ll be special if you make the effort.