Episode 5-5485 – Nate Talks About Parenting
Hello my running friends. And so, the universe finds us together again. It is a fine Monday morning at the end of April bleeding into May and the fulsome fecundity of mother nature bursts free from the oppressive bonds of winter.
The birds are singing, the rabbits are munching, the flowers show their timid faces in the new dawn of longer days and happier times.
And here we are.
I’ve been wondering how to fit this podcast into my life. I think I have the time, but maybe I don’t have the habit? Life is a delicate balance.
Maybe I could do shorter pieces and maybe automate some of the work?
It’s all good.
As I get older, I have less trouble letting go. Because as you get older you need to acquire the skill of letting go. You really don’t have a choice.
Well, my friends I don’t have an answer, which is not an uncommon occurrence. I’m not even sure if I’m asking the correct question.
But, here we are, you and I, again, once more, at the yawning chasm of a new episode of the RunRunLive podcast.
Today we are going to talk to our friend Nate about his new book. It’s about parenting. It’s about taking the long view. And I suspect it’s also about Nate choosing to leverage the serendipity he acquired alone with his thoughts running the roads of his life.
I’ll catch you up on what I’ve been up to.
I’ll probably talk some more about retirement as I try to work out may own transition plans.
It’s always a privilege to talk to you my friends,
I’ve missed you,
On with the show!
Section One – A brief history of time
Catching up
Hi. My name is Chris. I’m a Scorpio. Sorry, that’s an old joke from the 70’s. Something to do with pick up lines and long walks on the beach.
Item Number One – Who am I? and why do have a running podcast?
Well, as to the ‘who am I’ part, I have no idea. I feel compelled to deflect that question by quoting Douglas Adams, but I won’t. But, as for this podcast going forward, I’ll try to be more funny.
Did you know that most award-winning speeches have 3 jokes per minute? The people need to be entertained.
They need both bread and circus.
I can’t tell you who I am. But I can tell you some things that may lead you, sniffing like a terrier, in the right direction.
I like to learn. That can be a valuable attribute. It got me through school and a few iterations of higher education in good standing.
I like to read. You only get 2-3,000 books in your life, even if you choose well. I think I’ll make my quota. Currently I’m reading an annoying workbook on retirement, a semi-pornographic novel by Phillipe Jose Farmer called Image of the Beast and the third book of New York Time Best Seller Ryan nn Fantasy series “Traitor” because he friended me on Facebook.
Which leads into an entirely different vice. I like to write. I am of the generation that considered writing a higher calling, something good and sacred.
And this is why I originally started the RunRunLive podcast. (See? That’s what’s called a scene transition. It’s also a callback to the opening paragraph. I am blessed with a brain that sees the shape of stories and hears the rhythm in them.)
Rhythm is a hard word to spell. It’s got too many extra letters in it. I can never get it right. It’s Greek. It means patterns.
True Story: When I was a kid I once turned in some school work where I spelled Arthritis as Author-Writus – which delighted the teacher, but embarrassed me. I still have that memory some 50 years later so it must have burned like a searing brand on a steer’s flank.
So – back to the thread – I started writing about running in the early 2000’s. Short stories. I got paid for it too. I wrote race reviews for the Active.com website.
I was in the thick of my career at the time. I was running a startup software in the supply chain space. It was very stressful.
I had been a casual runner as a kid. I ran cross country in high school. I came back to it when I hit 30 to lose some weight. And like many of us I fell in love with running. I fell in love with the marathon. And it became part of the rhythm of my life. (See? See what I did there? I ties the randomness together and drop that unifying word and it gives you the reader, listener, a little jolt of chemical brain happiness.)
In 2007 I had been running hard and doing amazing things for a few years and decided to join the new creative form of Podcasting. I knew it would make me accountable. Force me to write and force me to learn those cutting-edge Web 2.0 skills. Force me to present and hone that storytelling craft.
And of course, give me an outlet for the angst and creative force that beat at my brain every day.
I decided to make it an interview based podcast as a hack. This way I could create content with very little preparation. Fill the air with someone else’s ideas. Take credit for other’s energy.
And that’s what I did for close to 15 years.
The R-H-Y-T-H-M of my life was a kaleidoscope of training and racing and writing and producing and traveling and talking to clients and in the end I received the unpredicted bonus of meeting you, my friends.
And that was the best part.
Now, my friends as I edge into a new season of my life, I want to thank you, but I also want to have a coffee with you.
Have you been on this journey with me?
Reach out to me. My email still is cyktrussell at gmail dot com. Send me an email of how you found us and what if anything the impact of RunRunLive has been for you. Send me an audio. Or better yet, let’s schedule a time to talk it through.
Because, as I was reading my retirement workbook this morning, I realized I need more community. I need you, my friends.
Featured Interview
Nate Wagner
Nate is a dedicated husband and father of two daughters. When he’s not spending time with his family, you can find him pounding the pavement as a long-distance runner, pouring his thoughts into writing as an author or offering guidance and support as a therapist. His passion lies in assisting fathers to be more present and engaged in their children’s lives, striving to create stronger family bonds and more joyful homes.
https://www.intentionalnate.com/
Section Two – Friday Night Feels
Friday Night Feels – RRL
One of the ingenious ways I found to procrastinate this week was to submit a short story to one of the online science fiction podcasts. It is a story I wrote a few years back and I had been ruminating over the last few months that it might be a good fit to recycle somewhere.
I found it, did a pass of editing and sent it off.
This, is not the fun part of the story.
A couple days later I got an email from them saying that although I was surely a brilliant and handsome, talented fellow, the story was not a good fit for them.
This too, is not the fun part of the story…
I hadn’t invested much emotionally or otherwise in the submission process. It turns out it’s a fairly automated process and everyone uses the same submission workflow software. That was fun to figure out.
So – how do you think I felt about this automated rejection message?
Was I depressed? Was I angry? Was I shouting Why? Why? Why? At the heavens?
No. I was not…
I felt oddly pleased that 1) I had written something, 2) I had the gumption to submit it, and 3) they were able to reject it quickly and kindly.
But here too the funny part does not reside…
As these oddly pleasant thoughts were percolating through my morning cerebrum, I was also looking at Facebook, (another great procrastination technique). (If there were an Olympics for procrastination, I would be a real threat to medal, even if the Russian athletes were doping.)
The funny part is I happened to see a post on a page that I frankly look at only when all the other good sources of procrastination are exhausted, or I have a question about ISBN numbers – it’s a group called Writers Helping Writers.
And I don’t frequent it because it the same series of posts over and over again…
It’s starts with “Hey, I’m finally getting around to writing my novel does anyone have any ideas?”
Then it progresses to “I’m halfway through my first draft and I’m stuck on a metaphor about rutabagas…”
Then you get, “Yay, after 17 years I finished my novel!”
And finally, “I published my novel, and no one bought it and I’m considering ending it all!”
Since the blinking cursor was already in front of me, I wrote, and I quote, “Got my first rejection email this morning – made me feel strangely accomplished.”
And heedlessly went on with my day.
You can tune back in now – this is the funny part.
Then my Facebook starts blowing up. Literally blowing up. Kaboom.
It appears I struck a nerve with the angsty starving authors.
As of today – about 48 hours later at this writing – I have 815 ‘likes’, (or whatever those emoticon thingies are that allow people to tentatively express support without requiring actual empathy), and 121 encouraging comments, some quite lengthy, (and well written of course).
That’s the funny part.
As I was commiserating with a New York Times Best Selling author, (who reached out and befriended me because of said throw-away post) – Isn’t that always the way?
As a creative you can worry and sweat and pour your effort, talent and love into a piece and it will flop on the digital floor ignored and unloved.
Then you dash off a quick, thoughtless piece about your dog and it goes viral.
And that my friends is the lesson, because, like I said, ‘there is always a lesson’. We as creative do not get to decide the value of our work. Our calling is not to judge our work.
Our calling is to set it free.
When the time is right it will find its home.
And if you make just one person smile, or curse or role their eyes it has fulfilled its mission.
And so have you.
Outro
And so as I move you to the exit my friends, let me catch you up on where I’m at.
Let me ‘splain…No there is too much, let me sum up!
With the New year I got my diet straight and started training for the Napa Valley marathon.
My doctor told me to not train too hard until I got results from a stress test with imaging. (There’s a long funny story there).
So, I trained by low volume and low intensity. 3 runs a week on the rail trail. But, since I dropped 15-20 pounds, I felt fantastic.
With only a couple weeks left to train, I told the coach we’d better throw some longer sessions in. I had a couple tempo runs and my long run was 16 miles. But, again, my diet was clean, so I felt great.
I ran Napa and had a great race. It was the race I had trained for. Everything after 16 miles was terra incognita, but it wasn’t my first rodeo and I was super happy with the effort and the time, given a year earlier I wasn’t even running.
It was a much stronger outing than the Marine Corps Marathon in the fall. And, most importantly the knee was fine.
‘All systems go!’ I was thinking.
But one odd thing happened on the Napa course. Around midway I got a camp in my right calf like someone shot me. I managed to flatten out my stride and ignore it for the rest of the race.
But here we are 2 months later and despite giving it a lot of time off the calf keeps hurting. Apparently, I pulled something. And, of course, I gained all the weight back.
So, I guess I’m starting at zero again. To everything there is a season. Turn, turn, turn.
With the weather getting nice I sure would like to get out into the woods for some refreshing trail runs!
This year was the 3rd year in a row of not running Boston after 21 years. It was fun to see all the hoopla, but also a little sad to miss out.
I think my Boston days are behind me. Maybe when I’m retired, I can have the time for all the maintenance and training it would take for me to qualify.
So – that’s it. I’ve got the Groton Road Race this weekend and that will be fun. I’ll probably just hike the course with Ollie to get my time in.
I will keep trying to get this out.
I think I can manage as long as I keep it short.
Hope you all are well.
teach your children well
Their father’s hell did slowly go by
Feed them on your dreams
The one they pick’s the one you’ll know by
Don’t you ever ask them why
If they told you, you would cry
So just look at them and sigh
And know they love you
…
I’ll see you out there.